Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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