You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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