They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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