I feel like abortions should bother me more
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
