Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
