I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
