Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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