She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize