I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
