So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think a kid would responsible me up
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
