the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
