I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
