we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
