So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize