I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
