He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
