Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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