I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
