I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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