her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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