She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
