U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
