I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
