All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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