come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
