The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have aggressive nipples.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize