im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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