I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
