K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My liver just had a heart attack.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
