I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
