margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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