im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
