and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
