I think im going to throw up on grandma
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
