he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
