totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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