I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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