Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
