i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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