when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
