Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
