I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
