yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
