So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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