'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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