My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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