i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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