My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
