Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
