This is not my ceiling
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
