so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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