P.S. I can't hear my feet
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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