Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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