i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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