The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Alive.
So much puke
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
