is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
