I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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