last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
