his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
