Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
