I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
