I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
